I've decided to write you all a nice long blog entry, prewritten in a notebook to avoid being rushed at the internet cafe. I've only been gone for a week, but it feels like it's been years since I've really spoken to anyone-maybe because I've had so much to say. It's amazing how much life can change in a week! If this was a vacation or a short trip, I wouldn't feel any compulsion to call everyone I know just to say hello, and homesickness would be a laughable idea. But this isn't a vacation. I will be living here for the next 26 months, with very little hope of going home to visit or having anyone visit me here. I'm doing fine right now, but every day, mostly at night, I get waves of anticipatory homesickness. You can say I knew what I was getting myself into when I applied, and of course I did. I just didn't know how long 26 months would seem at the end of the first week. I can't make any promises that I can do this, and I hope that if at some point I decide that it's too much and I need to come home, that everyone who supported me in coming here will understand and not be too disappointed in me. There is absolutely no way you can prepare for this experience, and no way of knowing how you will feel until you're here. It's a daily, and sometimes hourly, decision to stay. That said, I am still excited to be here, I want to do this, I will do my best, and I have every intention of seeing this through. I went through a lot to get here, and I don't plan on giving up that easily. Right now, my goal is to make it through training. 8 weeks? Now that I can do!
Today was my third day with my host family, and my first without speaking to an American. I think I can safely say that I am starting to adjust. Being in the same room as my host family is no longer awkward, and I finally know all of their names (I'll introduce them all in my next entry). And I am an expert at bucket bathing. For those who think a description is too much information, skip this paragraph- but I know I had no idea what it was before I got here.
First, you heat a metal bucket of water over the fire outside to the perfect temperature. Then you transfer the water to your own personal bucket and bring it inside along with a plastic basin large enough to stand in. I bath (or bath, which is the verb here) in my bedroom, but others bath in the hut or in separate bathroom if they have one. I gather my soap, shampoo, conditioner, cup, toothbrush and toothpaste, place my bucket inside the basin, and then step into the basin myself. I wash with the a washcloth and my cup, then use the cup to dump water over my head so I can wash my hair. Before I had my cup, I dunked my whole head in the bucket, but the pouring works a lot better. Once my hair washed, I brush my teeth with water from my water bottle using the basin as a sink. Then I brush my hair and take out my contacts while my hands are clean. I get dressed, drag the basin to the backyard to dump it, put it away in the hut, and that's the end of the bucket bath. This happens every night, and if my host mom has her way, every morning, too. The best part is that this only uses one bucket full of water,and I feel completely clean. Imagine how many buckets of water we use to bathe or shower every day in the US!
Tomorrow (Monday) starts our real training, with intensive Setswana lessons, cultural field trips, and classes on HIV biology and behavior change strategy. Maybe it;s a bit nerdy, but I can't wait to dive in. Last week was a lot of logistics, procedures, and policy. Maybe now that we'll be getting into useful, applicable training, things will start to fall into place. I'll keep you updated!
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Hang in there Melissa!! I know you can do it. I can certainly understand how you feel about the language issue, remember my daughter went through the same thing when she came home from China. It is uncomfortable and sometimes scary when you can't communicate, but you'll learn fast! Now I've used the squatty potty, but I can't say that I'd be too pleased at a bucket bath. Probably not for the severely uncoordinated (one of my downfalls!. Good luck with your language classes and enjoy the field trips. Take lots of pictures if possible. Who knows, maybe you'll turn your blog/journal into a book when you come home!
ReplyDeleteDonna (mom's friend from bowling)
Hey Melissa! Don't get discouraged. Feelings like you describe will come and go throughout your stay, if you're anything like me. I found it helpful to break the time into manageable chunks, as you've done with the 8 week training. You'll have conferences with Peace Corps, friends to visit, places to visit - I would tell myself, "Ok, six weeks till I have a separate language training conference," or "I'll be visiting Juli in a month," so I would have things to look forward to. It helped the time pass in a good way. Hang in there - it'll get easier!
ReplyDeleteI would totally be looking forward to plunging in, too - we have the nerd thing in common, at least! :)
Thank you for the update!
<3 Hang in there girlie! I know you can do this. We hang on your every word, so let us reading your writing be your form of knowing that we are all cheering you on here! We will certainly be keeping you in our minds till the minute you come back. Love you!!!!
ReplyDelete-Katie (Google likes to use my real name...)
(It's Dad, Google is on Mary's account)
ReplyDeleteI have had some long business trips to some remote places where I haven't heard real English spoken for weeks and can relate, even though I had the benefit of knowing I was going home in a few weeks and the comfort of a nice hotel. I have seen you grow into a strong person with the tenacity to acheive what you set out to. The beginning of a new situation is always the most difficult until you better understand your role in the big picture and you feel you belong where you are. You are in my thoughts and prayers every day that you find the satisfaction you seek in this role. You and I share the same spirit of adventure, but I never had the guts to go out and accomplish what you already have in your young life. Keep the dream you created in front of you at all times and let that guide you each day. I love you and miss you. Love, Dad